Waiting for the apple pie to bake…

I come home to an empty house. And I like it. I like it because I know where I put everything. I know what I was working on last, I know what to clean next, what to cook next, what to take care of next.

I like it because I’m in control.

And that’s exactly what I would have to give up. I know it’s worth giving up control to have anyone in my life.

It’s crazy to think that such a short season of life could have such a deep impact on my heart. I’m more willing to settle for someone who is mundane, simple, and uneventful because I know that they’re trustworthy, dependable, and faithful.

I will miss catching my breath but I’d rather have devoted hand to hold than a racing heart.

I still miss him and I can’t believe myself. And I can’t help holding it against him.

 

God, forgive me.

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~ by Rachael on 15 October, 2010.

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